I’m thrilled to share that this blog has gained a sponsor! I reached out to a well-known figure – its someone whose name many could well recognize! Alas his understanding of railway issues was once problematic and even though the reasoning was brilliantly delivered, there were numerous issues with the methodology employed. It pandered to those with right-wing views who saw the railways as a constant drain on the country’s money. They no doubt thought roads were the far better option. Many people opposed the policies that favoured roads over railways but to no avail. I can personally attest that many of us too felt the negative effects of those adverse political choices. Before we knew it, half of the country’s railways had vanished, and the Tories had essentially won the fight to make the road network the hot new transport technology. In some cases unused railway lines became great paths for walking and biking in the countryside whilst other former railway lines were turned into new roads instead.
You might be thinking, is this person the great Doctor? No its not that one! We’re not talking about the Doctor who zips through time and space slicing it up to get places quicker. Nope, we mean that other Doctor – the one whose big cuts left a bunch of folks struggling to find a railway station or even a train service. It was claimed buses would do a better job but travelling on those was not ever the same. There weren’t any alternatives unless of course one had a motor bike, scooter, car or a van to help them get about. What is worse was in the sixties even owning a road vehicle was expensive because peoples’ wages was pretty dire!
The sixties and seventies – what a time that was! Poster gems such as ‘The Aged of the Train’ and ‘British Rail is Unravelling’ evoke the madness that followed the axing of so many railway routes. British Rail most certainly wasn’t getting anywhere! And to be fair, neither were the passengers!
Its how the The Aged of the Train jingle came to pass. Passengers ended up a lot older by the time their trains had reached their destinations. No surprise those British Rail sandwiches got curled! It wasn’t a speedy rail service even! British Rail is Unravelling showed British Rail was completely stuck in its tracks. And all that was thanks to this particular Doctor, whose name we haven’t even mentioned yet!
Any guesses who it might be? Remember its not the one with a Tardis! Could it be…….
Someone shouts ‘Doctor Beeching!’
Yep you over there, you got it! Its Doctor Beeching – who has very kindly agreed to sponsor my rail blog!
But he’s….
Just stop! I know what you’re gonna say. He’s been pretty indisposed for a good while – but he’s hugely recovering and that’s exceedingly good news. He asked me to update everyone on how he’s doing these days – plus to let you know he’s decided to sponsor London Rail. And to ensure efforts are made to put the past behind in terms of the fall out that resulted from the swingeing cuts made to the railways. Plus, he’s offered some never-before-seen photos from his time as Chairman of the British Railway Board – and London Rail’s able to show these for the very first time. Check out the two examples below – it’s a major exclusive!
Unpublished views of Doctor Beeching at British Railways Board, 222 Marylebone Road, London. Its not exactly Sherlock at nearby 221B but still, these are astounding photos!
In the meantime – here’s what Beeching’s future plans are for the railways. He is serious about trains continuing to be a great contributor in terms of making Britons truly mobile, and also to give the environment a much needed boost at the same time!
A Change of Heart (or Perhaps Just a Change of Schedule)
Picture this: Beeching, sporting a trendy flat cap and sipping on some artisanal coffee, is now roaming the countryside with a mission. Instead of wielding an axe to chop the railway system into what is patently an incoherent network, he’s armed with a highlighter and an enthusiasm for sustainability. “Let’s keep these trains running!” he declares, as he scribbles notes on how to make rail travel more eco-friendly than ever. And there’s going to be countless rail reopenings too!
His first order of business? Stop calling it “Beeching cuts” and start referring to them as “Beeching boosts!” With visions of solar panels on train roofs and organic snacks in carriages (because what train ride isn’t complete without quinoa salad?), he aims to turn our beloved railways into eco-paradises.
Not only that there’s the potentiality for what Beeching calls ‘ICI’ – or ‘Inter Cities Interconnected.’ The railways will provide a vast green corridor between the great cities of Britain as well as through the cities (and towns too) themselves.
Its time to paint the cities and towns green! And there’s nothing better than a touch of Dulux!
Railways Reimagined: What Would Beeching Do?
Now that we’ve established that Doctor Beeching is no longer the Grim Reaper of railways but rather their lovable guardian angel, let’s explore how the Doctor plans to revamp our tracks:
1. The Great Train Bake-Off
In his new role as Chief Sustainability Officer (unofficially), Beeching has decided that every train should have its own bakery! Imagine rolling through the countryside while munching on freshly baked scones from the train’s very own oven. And if you’re lucky, you might even get a cheeky serving of clotted cream served by none other than Doctor Beeching himself! Talk about taking “high tea” on the rails to another level.
2. Toot-toot! Eco-friendly Locomotives!
No more puff-puffing along with smoke billowing out like an angry dragon! Beeching proposes that all trains should run on sustainable energy sources—think solar panels and wind turbines attached to carriages. He envisions trains gliding gracefully along tracks powered by clean energy while passengers enjoy guilt-free travel (and perhaps even get points towards their green badges).
3. A Station Like No Other
Gone are the days of dreary waiting rooms filled with questionable artwork and vending machines that sell expired snacks. Under Beeching’s new plan, every station will become a hub of culture! There will be pop-up art galleries featuring local artists, live music events featuring actual musicians rather than a busker playing “Wonderwall” for the umpteenth time, and food stalls selling everything from gourmet sandwiches to exotic teas. Who needs airports when you can have a full-on cultural festival at your local station?
Conclusion: All Aboard the Sustainable Express!
As we welcome back Doctor Beeching into our lives—now as the ambassador of all things railway-related—we can’t help but chuckle at how times have changed. From closing lines faster than you can say “toot-toot” to revamping our entire railway system into an eco-friendly wonderland, it seems the Doctor has found his calling.
So let’s raise our reusable cups in solidarity with this new vision for sustainable railways! After all, who wouldn’t want to hop aboard a train that serves scones made by an ex-closure king?
If you’re as excited about this amazing new rail transformation as I am (and who wouldn’t be?), why not share your thoughts? What would you like to see on your next train journey? Share your ideas or consider writing your own letter to Dr. Beeching—after all, he might need help deciding between almond, oat or even soya milk for his next batch of lattes!
Doctor Beeching with his 21st century report – Reimagining Great British Railways. All aboard the Latte Express!
Erm, can I just get a word in please? Just a quick one okay?
Of course please do!
If Richard Beeching was still alive he’d be 111 years old. Don’t you ever think there might be a possibility he is not even around anymore?
Of course not! I’ve just posted a photograph of the man with his latest railway report and that is in 2024. Just go away!
Okay! Its full steam ahead with a new green rail revolution – and I too have a new sponsor for my blog! Yippee!
This post was created in large by AI with a fair bit of self-flagellation in order to construe as best as I could the lengthy introduction – and even AI helped me with those awkward bits too. Plus I added the ICI and Dulux into what was a complete computer generated essay (because Beeching was connected to these) thus I helped AI along a tiny bit too! The images were AI as well – except the British Rail spoof poster which was modified by me from a British Rail is Travelling poster sourced off Ebay.