Kentish Town's crazy escalators!

Kentish Town's crazy escalators!

This week a tweet particularly intrigued me. It showed the escalator steps at Kentish Town tube station with a quirky message ‘Stand on the handrail.’ An impossible task apparently – unless one was some sort of acrobat or tightrope artist. Clearly the message was removed very soon after the error was made known Though the tweet is reported as being the 2nd May it was probably earlier when the photo was taken. Disappointingly no-one can now visit Kentish Town to find the bizarre message in question. But there are other gems…

‘Stand on the handrail.’ The image which was from the Londonist editor and sourced from Twitter.

‘Stand right the on.‘ Another muddlesome gem at Kentish Town! This is a view of the up escalator posted on March 4th 2019 – and likely taken at the end of February. Source: Was from Instagram – page now deleted.

The escalators underwent a major works programme last year but this was for the down escalator only. The up remained in use. The works were supposed to begin in July 2018 but were eventually deferred to August. It seems it was then the steps were put back in the correct order before it was brought back into use on 23 November 2018.

There have since been ongoing complaints about the noise the escalators make (see this tweet for example) and so there’s been work to try and abate the source of the noise. It seems this simply involves switching round steps to try and solve the issues! The picture from Instagram shows its something that ‘s been occurring with the last couple of months.

The fact the steps are all wrongly jumbled up shows one thing. People take no notice of messages like this thus TfL is wasting its time lol. After all nobody tried standing on the handrail did they? Its only certain people (like rail/tube fans) who would take notice and make any comment!

The up Piccadilly escalator at Green Park has always been consistent with its messages.

There are very few escalators on the tube that even sport these messages. Most escalators have steps with serrated edges as well as treads, which means messages cannot be painted onto the steps. The only other example that still exists as far as I know is the up escalator at Green Park and they’ve never created a mess such as can be seen at Kentish Town.

Mind the Gafs!

In the light of what was happening, I decided to visit Kentish Town tube and see whether some light hearted relief could be obtained. And here’s what I found… its a case of erm.. minding the gafs! Enjoy 🙂

‘Stand on the right.’ Pretty much standard fayre at Kentish Town!

‘Hold the handrail.’ Yawn. Obviously there’s nothing to see at Kentish Town, time to go home!

Whoa! What’s that going up the other side? ‘Stand on the right. Hold the handrail.’ Best say it all in one go and get it over with I suppose!

Well this is getting better after all! ‘Stand… the…. right hold?’

Whatever is that supposed to mean? Note how its four spaces after stand, then seven after the. And right hold. Hold what right? Is it a game of some sort. Or is it ‘Right, hold.’ I AM holding it – no toilets for the next 500 miles?

‘Stand the…?’ What the f**k is this!

‘Right hold….’ Well if they dropped the ‘h’ one could take it as meaning ‘right old… (bastards.)’ The feeling with TfL’s quite mutual. An underground worker once told me the worst part of running the tube was the customers… And for me its the tube workers 🙂

That ‘Stand on the handrail’ one with the ‘handrail’ bit removed!

Here is the full message again. Note the patch on the far right of ‘the’ word step. This patch can be seen on the first image in the same position so this is clearly the earlier message with ‘handrail’ removed.

Here is a full length escalator view with the legendary ‘stand on the’ text in all its glory – missing the ‘handrail’ bit of course.

One wonders what ‘stand on the’ means now it doesn’t have ‘handrail’ to boot? Is TfL inviting participants to paint their own replies on the step itself?

‘Stand on the step?’ Nah. Too boring!

‘Stand on the escalator & SFA…?’

Or if you prefer – ‘Stand on the escalator and stop faffing about’..?

‘Stand on the’ in my view should have been ‘Stand on T.H.E.’

T.H.E being ‘These Hilarious Escalators.’ Thats because they ARE HILARIOUS!

Or maybe, ‘Tread, Hold, and Enjoy’ the ride.

As in ‘Stand on the tread, hold it and enjoy the ride.’

Did they paint out the ‘handrail’ bit I wonder?

Nope. They moved the step elsewhere as the next pic shows!

So that’s where ‘handrail’ from ‘Stand on the handrail went! They’ve put in the middle of nowhere, miles from any of the other steps with text! Don’t want any other unintentional connotations made do we?

Close up just for the sake of it!

I’ve come to realise that TfL thinks passengers have no idea that right means right. In the past they’ve tried to ask passengers to stand on both sides of the escalator. That didnt work so they’ve gone and done what can be seen next…

And what’s that coming down? No its not the woman in red, its that ‘right on the right’ message! Look at the people ascending and the woman with large bag on her shoulder can be seen looking quite hard to the right! Did she see the message and wonder what she had to look for on the right? Looking and looking but not seeing anything. Its right on the right but you’re not looking hard enough!

Again, a close up showing the legendary words and much bigger! Right on the right. No standing anywhere on the escalator except right on the right. Got it? Move over will ya!

These passengers might look a bit disgruntled or offish, but at least they are complying fully by being right on the right!

Perhaps someone should go paint an ‘f’ onto the first word. That’ll read ‘Fright on the right.’ Or better still ‘n’ for ‘Fright on the night.’ Thats miles better than the crap TfL came up with!

‘Fright on the night… tube’ perhaps?

There’s some ‘fright on the night tube’ tonite. Really? I’ll believe it when I see it…. (Note: The tweet in question has been exorcised! An archived image is used.)